Struggling for contentment in the Christmas season

I've found that shopping, for me, breeds discontentment. Living in a city can also do that. This is only sometimes the case for me, but this past week proved many instances of that. Living in a city, with so many possible things to do, I'm aware of how I can't do them all. A couple weekends ago we were driving through some really cool neighborhoods in NW Philly -- soooo many shops and restaurants; I was thinking, if I had the money, I could dine out 3-4 nights a week! And enjoy all these places.

Now Christmas shopping season is already in full swing (because it really does start a few weeks before Black Friday). It's funny, because shopping for *others* is something I can really enjoy, but when I think about what to put on my wish list, my mind can eventually start to go crazy!  When I'm first asked the question, "Katharine, what would you like for Christmas?" I may draw a blank at first, or just think of some really small things… "Give me some time to think about it," I say, "and I'll get back to you."  Well… only a few days of pondering and internet searching need to pass before there are TONS of things I want! And it's pretty easy for me to get attached to the items I want fairly quickly. So silly, right?

As I walked amongst the jumble of clothing racks at Macy's this afternoon, I noticed this tendency in me again. In two hours, I tried on many items. I would find something I really liked, but then 10 minutes later find something else "even better."  I realized that this process of looking and finding things I "want" could never end. At its worst, shopping can tap into a consumerist desire that is never fulfilled. No matter what you do purchase, there's something else five feet over that's also "so amazing" and you may even think that, by acquiring it, you will feel great.

Now I realize that Black Friday is partially designed to get customers to "keep shopping," and, with all the big sales, to probably get people to buy more than they originally intended, so I think this "breeding discontent" is partly a product of this big shopping season. But I've noticed how strange it is that these unhelpful feelings should coincide with this season of Thanksgiving. Yesterday was the Thanksgiving holiday, and Sunday begins the season of Advent, where we reflect on the coming of our Savior and Messiah into the world. It's a season of thankfulness, of joy, of appreciation, of gratitude. We have been given so much, at a great cost to God.

So why should I be struggling with these feelings of discontentment? Yes there are things that I can't have or can't do, but big deal!!! What I do have is so much greater than anything that can be bought or sold. Materials gifts  are a fine way of showing appreciation and love, but I can't make them into something greater than they are -- fleeting.

Consumerism and its discontents - I found this article helpful, and I'm seeing I'm one of the "worst case scenario" types they describe -- someone with high materialist values who also has "high prosocial values," (i.e. values relating to family, community, faith)  and these two value groups often conflict, therefore causing some of the discontentment.

One of the article's conclusions is useful (though maybe a little weak in its wording) and I'll post it here: "Material things are neither bad nor good … It is the role and status they are accorded in one's life that can be problematic. The key is to find a balance: to appreciate what you have, but not at the expense of the things that really matter--your family, community and spirituality." '


(I'd like to add here that I entered the Christmas holiday with much more peace and contentment, after struggling with several discouraging episodes like the one I described above. I have felt so much more satisfied since then, but I recognize that own restlessness and worldly influences can still pull me into "funks" like this one above.  My Kenyan friend, Pini, recently shared that when she came to the U.S. for her studies she really prayed against the love of money, because she feared it would derail or dilute her plans to go home and serve her local community. She was so wise to do that. Her words and Jesus' many warnings against the love of mammon and wealth are vital reminders for us to heed, as Christians.)