Daydreaming ...

What's wrong with it? I do it way too often; it just comes so naturally to me. But I do feel like it can be damaging. Whether it's a case of simply wasting time, or not having my mind on "whatever is pure ... noble ... true ... right ... lovely ... admirable ... excellent or praiseworthy." It is often very clear what thoughts are damaging, but when I have so much time alone (especially now that my two main buddies down here are either gone or otherwise occupied) my mind can come up with all sorts of stuff - thoughts or scenarios that transport me to another place.

Something subtle that I have noticed is that too much daydreaming about possible future events can leave me with a false sense of security, or, rather, a presumption about the yet-to-come that makes me feel like I'm totally aware of what the future holds. It's hard not to do this while I'm sitting around making plans for my Africa trip and researching graduate schools for next year. I start to see myself in those places, interacting with people that I don't yet know and imagining what I will learn and what I will do. Really, this has nothing to do with reality, what the future actually will bring.

So these thoughts are something to be brushed aside. I just wonder... if I don't intentionally extract them, or push them away, will they leave a residue, enough of a presumption that will surprise me while I'm actually in Africa, or perhaps studying for a Masters next year, so that when I'm met with new circumstances I will say, Wait, this isn't what was supposed to happen! Will my building of expectations now make me less ready to take on the twists and surprises that life does bring and will bring each day of my trip and beyond?

I don't want my ability to respond on the spot to be deadened by these mental journeys of mine. I am harkening back to last summer, when I went to Chennai for my first missions trip. I thought that I left California with no set expectations - that I was a clean slate so to speak, but was I wrong! I was paralyzed most of the time because I had imagined such different things from myself and the people our team served.

Maybe this has to do with truly relying on God, instead of relying on the weak plans and ideas I come up with. Daydreaming to an extent seems inescapable, but the underlying issue is this: Am I fostering in my relationship with Christ a deep, unshakable trust in His will, in His plans.

A message from Purity

I received this note in the mail today, from the little girl I sponsor in Kenya. These are exerpts:

I know it has been long since I wrote you a letter. How is your family? Are they okay? My family and I are happy too. Is your family happy?
My school has many pupils and teachers. I love my school. In our school we are given lunch that is beans mixed with maize and the mixture is known as githeri. In our class I was number one and my teachers congratulated me.
In the Compassion project we learn how HIV spread and the types of soils in our country. In the project, we praise God, We love God and we pray for our sponsors every saturday. I know you are my sponsor and I love you so much and I always pray God to protect you always. My family was very happy when I received letters from you and the map you send.
I want to tell you a memory verse: Psalm 105:1 it says, "give thanks to the Lord, proclaim his greatness, tell the nations what he has done." If you read psalm 105:1 your heart will be blessed. God will be with you.
I go to church every sunday. In our church we pray we sing and we jump for the Lord.
It is cold here in Kenya. What about your country? Thank you for your help. God bless you.

How amazing is that?? I would not exchange this experience for ANYTHING. I am so blessed!

Common grace

In church, we've been dwelling on the word "grace," and it takes a long time for things to hit me, but tonight Pastor Mark mentioned three forms of grace: saving grace, gifting grace, and common grace. Common grace is something that we all experience but we can live in such a way to not recognize it at all. For example, it is grace that we wake up in the morning, grace that we regain consciousness, our lungs fill with air and we know a new day, grace that we witness a beautiful sunset or walk along the beach, dipping our toes in the cool, clear water. It is grace that we have friends and family who love and care for us, and on and on and on.

God's fingerprints are all around us, but how often do we see them? I like how Pastor Mark says it, that "the pixie dust is sprinkled throughout every day of our lives." Ha, we just often don't see it that way. So, common grace ... and we experience it by not just admiring life from a distance, like we would survey a painting and say, Oh, isn't that a beautiful painting? but we enter into the painting. We chase that sunset, jump in that water, talk to that stranger. We delve in and live life.

Ah, so awesome. I forget how good life is sometimes. I mean, God's grace just pours out, never ceasing, until we're all bathing in it. Even if circumstances are bad, there is still much to rejoice over. Our God, is amazing. And that is what common grace reminded me of.