saintly sayings

In a book I'm reading, The Cloister Walk, I pulled out these two quotes from a 13th century saint:

Of the heavenly things God has shown me, I can speak but a little word, no more than a honeybee can carry away on its foot from an overflowing jar.

What we know is as nothing, if we do not love God properly in all things.

--Mechtild of Madgeburg

As to the second quote, I am so not there yet Mechtild, but I love it. Yes.

thoughts, they scatter

I had a great conversation with a friend this afternoon. I can often spill out what is on my heart with this friend and she catches each thought mid-air and receives it, adding dashes of clarity and wisdom as she recounts what I've said.

I just felt like putting a picture of a dandelion here. I think the spinning seeds drifting off the plant gave me an image I was looking for. I can have a whirl of heavy thoughts impressing upon me all at once, but even as they stir unsettled in my mind, I can see feel some peace and assurance knowing that each means something and each will go somewhere. Even if the process looks confusing, it's not ultimately.

change is happening right here

I now work at Hunting Park Christian Academy. It is a private school right in my neighborhood, staffed by committed individuals with a heart for seeing positive change in the lives of Philadelphian youth. The school started taking shape over 12 years ago, and it now serves 200 kids with a quality education. More than that, the youth at HPCA benefit from a close-knit network of caring relationships - with the staff, with each other, as well as their wider community. I love being a part of this ministry. I love that God is doing all of this right here.

on the line

I think yesterday I started to understand something about the ministries I'm involved in and how I view life and the Gospel. For a time, I have been drawn to certain activities because I recognize something uniquely heavenly about them. Values that I know belong to God's Kingdom:

Community

Diversity

Simplicity.... downward mobility

I see, and I want to be involved. With my gradual involvement though comes something unwelcome-- that is, anxiety. I'm out of my element. What do I do, amidst diversity - in a space that is really not my own?

Christ.

Then I see someone without my outward markings, my visual statements of movement... I see them love. They touch, transform, genuinely... And I am confounded. Why? How?

Out of the fullness that is within them!

What if I just take me, as I am, and care only for the Gospel? Then what will happen... I will love Christ's beauty and be drawn towards His heart. I will adore Him in praise and worship, and the world will love and see.

That is a bold statement for me. But I think I know that all that is worth having and knowing is found in Him - not separate from it but within. I must look to the Maker for all. I cannot pick the pieces out.

Psalm 130

Out of the depths I cry to you, O Lord

O Lord, hear my voice.

Let your ears be attentive to my cry for mercy.

If you, O Lord, kept a record of sins,

O Lord, who could stand?

But with you there is [forgiveness];

therefore you are feared.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits,

and in his word I put my hope.

My soul waits for the Lord

more than watchmen wait for the morning,

more than watchmen wait for the morning.

O Israel, put your hope in the Lord,

for with the Lord is [unfailing love]

and with him is [full redemption.]

He himself will redeem Israel from all their sins.

Lamentations 3:22-3

It is because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness we are not consumed,

because His compassions fail not.

They are new every morning;

great and abundant is your stability and faithfulness.

first, second...

Sitting on a sofa in a cozy, ecclectic cafe in Philadelphia's Fairmount neighborhood. This is a good place to be. Sipping chai, with husband in tow. Yes, this is good. Though, there are many things in my life that are not sorted and situated right now, I can say that I like this. I appreciate these moments.

I don't know why coffee shops have always been a comforting, sought after space for me. E Street in Encinitas, Chamonix or Mishka's in Davis, Higher Grounds in Northern Liberties - they have been good "third places" for some deep reflection, soothing drinks, and great conversations and connection.

The idea of a "third place" has been floating around in our dialogue these past couple of months - as discussion of opening a coffee shop in Philly has blossomed and our much bemoaned lack of a "third place" in Port-au-Prince kept us pining for any place to get away.

One such place inspired me even more. Our holiday visit to the greater Seattle area led us to this establishment one day: Third Place Books is home to not only a new and used bookstore, but multiple food vendors, a print shop, and a stage for community productions and a play area for kids. Very cool: a place with the mission of not only giving people a space to 'get away' but also to foster conversation and community. Mwen renmen li anpil.

So, here's to our "third places," treasures wherever they can be found. (I will note, it'd be nice if the drinks at my third places weren't so darned expensive though. Ted would probably appreciate that too.)

Coming back and going to ... ?

There is a stillness and encroaching sadness in me. As our days since being in Haiti increase in number, I feel further from our friends, further from those experiences, and it has only been a little over a week.

Part of this is compounded by the fact that we're 3,000 miles away from our home base of Philly for the holiday, which is also that many miles further from Haiti and some of the reminders of our time there. Computer access is more spotty, and my cell access is limited now that my charger is resting in our old room in Port-Au-Prince. ;) There is also a general malaise of the day, another factor in my mood perhaps.

How to make Haiti feel close - and with this, how to look forward in tangible ways to what God is moving in us and drawing us towards. I don't even know why I ask "how" anymore. Because I don't think it's a very good question when it comes to matters like these ... Yes Ted and I like to think about ways to continue to be connected to our life in Haiti, but whatever connections remain, wherever growth occurs and new life is born will be a gift of the Spirit. Am I being passive? Am I being pessimistic about what is here because of the tinges of melancholy I am feeling? I don't think so ... I just want to remain in Him. John 15.

Let that continue to be in my eyes and heart the most worthwhile endeavor.